"It is not my job to understand Him. Like it or not, you are a slave. Thanks for your input, your comment has been submitted to our moderators and will be posted as soon as it can be reviewed and approved. No belief is necessary. A Big Fat, "Fail" by The Friendly Atheist Glenn Beck Video Makes a Resurgence on Facebook - Coincidence? No re-evolution or de-evolution required, except in the feeble minds of the sheep who gobble up magical stories and Bronze Age superstition like cotton candy at a state fair, but can't wrap your head around ideas that could pull the rug out from under your infantile nonsensical fairy tales. 21Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. There was one time when the Israelites used the ark of God as some kind of a lucky charm and took it to battle. It contains a lot of guidelines that teach us how to live in the best possible way here on earth. Bible Contradictions Chart [Bad Day for Atheists] Bible verses that show people feeling lovesick, or people getting funny nicknames, young men falling to the ground during a sermon, showing us a side of our Lord and people in those days that help us relate to them more. Innumerable things have changed in the world since then. Just imagine. But Ezekiel was like, Uhmno thank you. Paul went down, threw himself on the young man and put his arms around him. 26If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain. People need to wake up. You cant be trying very hard. And they that were with me [Paul] saw indeed the light and were afraid; but they heard not the voice of him that spake to me. Skeptics point out a difference in Matthew's and Mark's accounts of Jesus on the cross. Although it is only mentioned in passing, it is quite funny to read about a person who is known for their manic driving skills. Hello,I realize it's been more than a year since the last post, but I wanted to get my two cents in.For me, one of the most glaringly close minded concepts of Christians is that only those who have heard and accepted the word of god will be saved and enter heavenout of let's say conservatively, tens of thousands of years that humans as we know them have been here, translating into tens of billions of lives that have come and gone - only a minute percentage from the last 1500 years or so will be going to heaven.Soit's a heck of a plan, this gods plansaving a mere handful of his flock cause for some reason he neglected to let us know about his word and himself till relatively recently.Also - he apparently made the stipulation that if you are ignorant of his existence - you're going to hell.As an added side note, I really like how the gods rules change with the times. Everest was at one time on the bottom of an ocean - and that's how sea shells arrived at what is (now) the highest point on earth. A lot of us have been introduced to a God who never says anything other than No. But these people prove that they have a relationship with God. I think you've got your nonsense mixed up. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). But lucky I woke up out of its fairy tale. 2 Kings 2:23-24. James 119Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. This is a lesson that reminds people that our gifts would be wasted if we act foolishly. We cherish the word of God. And just like that, as Jesus predicted in the Apocalypse of Peter, the Apocryphon of James and other texts, an manipulative religion called "Christianity" with a "manifold dogma" (AoP) was created to REPLACE the system originally taught by Jesus, who taught about Karma, Reincarnation and Enlightenment techniques. Who says God doesnt have a sense of humor? Many, many people suffer from the misconception that Christmas is a Christian holiday. No, he has a point. If God grants free will, he cannot do so without also allowing the option to choose evil. Thank you for that well thought out and intelligent response! 27Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.The god of this world and his associates take pleasure confusing and spurring men to destroy themselves and others. I find it amusing when people respond to something that makes them feel uncomfortable because it flies in the face of their beliefs with utter gibberish! Aside from teaching, healing, and dying on the cross Jesus attended weddings and dined with people. These wounds are harder to heal. I believe the reason the Bible says to have faith like a child is because some things in the book we simply cannot understand as mere humans. I believe there is a "God Force," but what is portrayed in most modern-day organized religions is cartoonish fairy tales and human distortions.Take "hell" and "satan," for instance. Maybe hes just asleep!. And that's all you need. But then the book of Hebrews weaves a legal case that argues that Jesus is a priest in the line of Melchizedek, which ought to take priority over the existing priesthood in the line of Aaron. New Testament Manuscript Reliability: the Visual ". If we get a good grasp of the nature of God and His sense of humor, it would not be disrespectful to think that God has a sense of humor. It must have looked comical. Not true, but very entertaining. Maybe even some biblical events are indeed historically accurate, just nof for the reasons put forth by the bible? I am not a slave and never will be. In the original Greek gospels(validated by carbon dating) there is no story of "cast the first stone". They restored it but when they woke up the next morning, they found Dagon on its face again, but this time the head and the hands were broken. 25But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. Is Gods Sense of Humor the Same as Ours? Despite traditionalist executives pushing for a return to the office, fully remote JPMorgan CEO Got Remote Workforce Diversity Exactly Wrong. The Bible is full of inspiring lessons that keep us going. We must glorify God in whatever we do and say. And if claims are being made without evidence, they can be easily dismissed without evidence. Maybe you've been spending too much time at the Creation Museum? For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Jesus is everything we aim to be. 666 , Jan 2 . Balaam was a man who followed God. And the best part? One of these moments was when Elijah challenged the prophets of Baal to prove which one of Yahweh and Baal is the real God. At first, God commanded Ezekiel to use human excrement to cook bread. God let Balaam do what he wantsat first. That rationalizes away one problem, but the overall problemthe various substories dont fit together in the overall plotremains. Here I thought I was the only one in the world that's not blind to the truth. One can be high brow ", "It certainly has gotten better. But, these names come from a different language, and this verse is used as a source for their genealogy. We didnt opt in to get the sin of Adam, and we neednt opt in to get the salvation of Jesus. Song of Solomon 4:2 may not be one of the funny Bible verses, but it shows another side of human nature. What is incredible about the Bible is not its divine authorship; it's that such a concoction of contradictory nonsense could be believed by anyone to have been written by an omniscient god. Proverbs 11:22 does not make fun of anyone. Seriously, who the fuck in their right mind finds comfort from an imaginary man in the sky who strikes down people who don't believe in what he demands. The book that many, many xtians believe was written by God Almighty, inerrant, unchanging, perfect to every jot and tiddle, is absolutely riddled with contradictions. When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others (Luke 24:9). Obviously FUNNY contradictions of the Bible. Such actions can lead to murder which is a punishable offense. Let us not forget that what a fool believes, he sees, hence, all the dyed-in-the-wool Christians out there that cannot be dissuaded no matter the massive bulk of evidence to the contrary. We can even say that He can be a bit playful with His creations. Or does the change have to be organic? Obviously FUNNY contradictions of the Bible | Sciforums But the sinless net goes a lot wider than that, because (plot twist!) There is an excellent article in Time magazine about how the bible was translated and compiled. His eyes grew tired and he fell asleep. When we love one another, we always want to do what is best for them. Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by Flash, Jan 1, 2000. So did Abraham and Moses: The Lord appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day (Genesis 18:1). Sorry if i appear to ramble, my head is a bit sleep deprived, but I STILL KNOW what im talking about! The intrinsic beauty of Christs' Words are both exquisitely simple and profound.One can walk in the wildernessespecially in the dark and see demons fleealso easily experienced in prisons. Receive uplifting scriptures, inspiring articles & helpful guides to encourage your faith. Just as the original contradictions are.-----My life could have been black and white, but I had to color it. GE 1:26 Man is to have dominion over fish, birds, cattle, and all wild animals, yet-. This one is handy if you meet a girl who doesn't like you, but you want to marry her. Big Deal. Absolutely none. Here it quotes an Old Testament declaration of God to justify a new covenant. Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world. Like everything else, we Christians, need to be mindful of the things we do and the words we say. The New Testament continues the confusion. Is it a change an outsider can effect? Contrary to what a lot of people know, the Bible contains funny Bible verses. Jonah ran away, but God made him turn around. Author of several books, including The Story Cycle releasing in October 2022. The message is clear and accurate though. The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre. We are created in Gods image but we are far from being God-like. We have to take some things seriously like our worship, our faith, and our spiritual growth. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. They poured too much water that it created puddles on the ground around it. Show me! I cannot imagine a relationship without humor. Play along at home and see which of these are your list, too. And they also tell us a little about our heavenly father the creator of the first dad jokes. (Ive written about the Bible clashing with science here.). Bible Contradictions. There is no satan, devil or fiery hell. The title of this post (on Ignoramus and lunatic, Glenn Beck spews hatred and ignorance. It takes work, but sometimes, all we need is some humor to break the iceor a fight! And thank for this shining example of the brain damage that is caused by religion - you people are making this too easy. My hats off to you peole that are smart enough to see the lies in christianity, Absolutley dead on. Now, on the outside looking in they seem patently ridiculous, mostly because they are. Jesus taught that calling someone a "fool" because you are angry with them, want to abuse them and feel like killing them, is wrong. To do so, one would first have to not read the book, which is the practice . The morning after, the Philistines woke up to find the statue Dagon on its face beside the ark. Our faith takes work. 1. Who incited David to count the fighting men of Israel? But, words can be damaging as well. Eat the food as you would a loaf of barley bread; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.. Hes alive!. Paul draws a parallel between the man who got us into this mess (Adam, who ate the forbidden fruit and gave mankind Original Sin) and the one who got us out (Jesus, whose perfect sacrifice saved us all). It was also written in different languages. One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Top 10 RIDICULOUS contradictions of Christianity. Once married to Christones' eyes are opened and mysteries revealed. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid. God created Platypuses, Yeti crabs, and Irrawaddy dolphins for example. Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. Turn off the Fox News, crawl out of the bomb shelter and crack open a text book or use this magical thing we've got called the internet that can give you access to the whole of human knowledge! There are lots of contradictions that I find fairly trivial. Sir Higgins goes on to say, The same Protestant divine has this remarkable passage: Impartiality exacts from me the confession, that the orthodox have in some places altered the Gospels.The author then goes on to demonstrate how a massive effort was undertaken in Constantinople, Rome, Canterbury, and the Christian world in general in order to correct the Gospels and destroy all manuscripts before this period.From my perspective, I think, that we have an intellectual responsibility to keep seeking for the truth; this is our exclusive responsibility as mankind.